Summer Help (The Movie)

…Our story begins with a very likeable, but somewhat aimless high school senior being dumped by his girlfriend on the day of graduation. Now crestfallen, our young hero sulks around the house being annoyed by his bratty little sister until his infinitely understanding mother makes a suggestion. Why doesn’t our hero spend the summer at the lake? He can house sit for his eccentric aunt while she sails around the world with a cartoonish Texas oil baron stereotype. It’ll be a great way to spend the summer before he heads off to a nondescript state university to study art history. Our young hero reluctantly agrees after his girl-crazy best friend convinces him that it’ll be a great way to “meet chicks.”

After a brief travel montage (Vacation” by The Go Go’s plays), our hero and his knucklehead friend arrive in a picturesque lake town. Everything is looking up.

The next day our hero is awakened by the sounds of two goofy but lovable brothers who have been hired by the eccentric aunt to paint the house while she is away. The brothers clearly have no idea how to do this, but their attempts are amusing, and everyone becomes fast friends. Oh, and they have a scruffy one-eyed dog named Stubs who provides plenty of paint-related comic relief.

Later that day things take a turn for the worse when, at the local beach, our young hero and his new friends witnesses an ugly exchange between a tomboyish girl and well-healed business man. The business man is Mr. Harrison Winslow, the local heartless oligarch. Together with his son, Remy Winslow, they are about to foreclose on a local elephant sanctuary operated by the girl and her environmentalist mother.

Our hero is forced to get involved after Stubs hilariously mistakes  Harrison Winslow’s expensive Armani dress pants for a mischievous gopher. It turns out that without $5000 the elephant sanctuary, which has been the home for retired circus elephants for more than 20 years, will be closed down.

Our hero wants to help, but the only way to quickly raise $5000 would be to win the annual boat club water skiing contest. But that would be impossible. Our hero can barely swim. Plus Remy Winslow has won the contest 6 years in a row. He’s unbeatable! Oh yeah, the girl-crazy best friend falls for Remy Winslow’s beautiful, but utterly superficial girlfriend. That plot thread goes nowhere.

What the group needs now is a training montage where our hero learns to water ski and slowly falls in love with the quietly attractive tomboy. And that’s just what they get (“And We Danced” by The Hooters plays). Much is accomplished and there’s a healthy dose if shenanigans courtesy of Stubs and the goofy brothers.

The music fades and we are treated to a tender moment between our hero and the deceptively pretty tomboy. We learn that her father was a world champion water skier who was killed attempting the dangerous Triple Reverse Flying Beachie. Tragic.

The day of the big ski competition finally arrives. As the competition progresses, it becomes obvious that our hero is out matched by the cheating Remy Winslow. Our hero only has one chance. He must attempt the Triple Reverse Flying Beachie. After a very tense slow motion sequence, our hero sticks the landing and wins the competition.

The crowd goes wild.
Remy Winslow crashes into a wedding cake.
Stubs viciously attacks Harrison Winslow’s expensive cabana slacks.
The elephant sanctuary is saved.
The lovable misfits gather together.
The goofy brothers raise the trophy.
Our hero kisses the sexy tomboy.

The image freezes.

The credits roll.

This song plays.

I miss the 80’s.

 

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